supertips 2

Banker trenger virkelig verdens mest fornøyde kunder. Fornøyde kunder som ikke bare klager over høye lånerenter og gebyrer på alt. Kunder som virkelig vet hvorfor det er riktig å være der hvor de er. Dvs. kunder som ikke blir værende på grunn av likegyldighet og sløvhet, men av personlig engasjement og interesse.

Kanskje er bankene mest opptatt av å ha de mest lønnsomme kundene, og ikke nødvendigvis de mest fornøyde? Eller er der en sammenheng? Er en bevisst kunde – som vet hvorfor han er der han er – også en potensielt mer fornøyd kunde og ergo også en mer lønnsom kunde (i hvert fall hvis man tenker livstidsverdi)? You tell me.

Mens du tenker over dette – her er en inspirerende klassiker fra the Young Ones. En invitasjon til dialog – fra en kunde til banken. Personlig, uoppfordret engasjement!

Hva skulle du gjort om du hadde jobbet på bankens kundesenter? Sendt en e-post med invitasjon til kunderådgivningssamtale? Sykemeldt deg?

Enjoy:

Neil: Guys, guys, guys, I think I've solved our money problem. I'm writing to my bank manager. See what you think... "Dear Bank Manager."
Mike: Yeah?
Neil: Well, that's it. I'm quite pleased with it so far, though.
Mike: Oh, well, it's a strong opening, certainly.
Vyvyan: I don't like the "dear." Sounds a bit too much like, "Will you go to bed with me?"
Mike: Well spoken, Vyvyan. What do you think instead?
Vyvyan: Uh, what about..."darling?
[everyone concurs]
Neil: [writing] "Darling Bank Manager..."
Rick: No, no, no, no, no, not "Bank Manager," it's far too crawly bum-lick. Tell it like it is, put "Fascist Bullyboy!"
Neil: "Darling Fascist Bullyboy..."
Mike: That's nice, yes, so far so good. So what do you want to say?
Neil: Well, basically, I want to ask him if I can have, like, an extension on my overdraft, but I know there must be a better way of putting it than that.
Mike: Well, what about, "Give me some more money"?
Vyvyan: ..."You bastard!"
Neil: Don't you think that's a bit strong?
Mike: Ah, Neil, people like that respect strength.
Neil: Yeah, you're right. Uh, "Darling Fascist Bullyboy, Give me some more money, you bastard..." Uh... "Love, Neil."
Vyvyan: Not "Love, Neil"! That sounds far too much like, "Come and get it like a bitch-funky sex machine!"
Neil: Yeah, you're right...Uh, what about, "Yours sincerely"?
Rick: Oh, come off it, Neil. If you're going to be that sycophantic, why don't you go 'round there now and stick your tongue straight down the back of his trousers?
Neil: Oh, look, I know, I know, why not "Boom Shanka"? It means, "May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman."
Mike: He'll never understand "Boom Shanka," you'll have to write the whole thing out.
Neil: Right, okay, here we go. "Darling Fascist Bullyboy, Give me some more money, you bastard. May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman, Neil."
Rick: Well, if that doesn't work, I don't know what will.




l-t-r: Vyvyan, Neil (long hair), Mike (short), Rick